Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
