I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
