Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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