he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
