i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had to cum in my sink.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
