I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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