I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
