It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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