Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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