Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize