Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
