the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize