Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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