This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I want her autograph on my taint
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
