i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
