i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
