If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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