Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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