Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
