One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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