i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
