This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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