Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
