dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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