summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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