Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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