Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
