My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i think i have two assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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