Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
this hospital has no fireball
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
