i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
