Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
