He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
