Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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