yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
