at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
