Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
home. puking in laundry basket.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
