I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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