i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize