Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
