Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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