Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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