i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i came on her dog
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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