it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
