Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
