There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I enjoy the company of your penis
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