I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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