So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
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I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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