but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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