So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
