Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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