i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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