if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
