just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
