This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
you made out with another girl for some wings
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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