Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Someone shit on the floor
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
