Having a random hookup so left but love u
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
