Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
