Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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