He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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