she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
