I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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