it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
